The last time I wrote a blog it was just 2 months before my wedding. Now it is almost 2 years after my daughter's birth. I have always been skeptical about giving birth to a kid and after serious considerations and umpteen discussions with friends and family decided to go ahead with the process of becoming a parent. Most of the discussions resulted only in them making weird conclusions on me. I was not convinced but found it would be easier to have a kid than face problems without becoming a father in my family and even friends circle. It became a unavoidable question in all circles about having a kid and the pressure only worsened as days went by. I always thought its is only those house wives and pattis who brings the couples under humungous pressure, but to my surprise even the young educated guys did the same , but in a subtle way.
Honest confession, I have not been able to wrap my head around the fact that I have become a father. I always thought time will make everything right, but this has become an exception in my case. I have not been able to do what most parents do for their kids. I haven't called her the princess, haven't used her pic as my DP, haven't embossed her name in the vechicle etc etc. Most of all I havent not been able to love her un-conditonally which is what most people manage to do. My daughter brings about a smile in me too often than not even when I am frustrated. She makes me weak with her funny faces and witty actions. She turns my world into a nightware when she becomes ill. But still I find it difficult to give her the un-conditional love she deserves. May be I am the most self-centred person who could exists. I have lost my time with my wife for most part and it has only been a strained relationship after my daughter. We dont have time for each other and hardly get to speak like we did before.
Being Dad has not been easy for me. What has made it worse for me in my wife accepting the change with at most ease. I am pretty sure I am alone in this experience. Most of my friends seem to enjoy having kids and in fact have gone on to have a second one which is beyond my imagination. We need a great responsibility and make a huge sacrifice to have kids. I am certainly not the right person for that :)
Honest confession, I have not been able to wrap my head around the fact that I have become a father. I always thought time will make everything right, but this has become an exception in my case. I have not been able to do what most parents do for their kids. I haven't called her the princess, haven't used her pic as my DP, haven't embossed her name in the vechicle etc etc. Most of all I havent not been able to love her un-conditonally which is what most people manage to do. My daughter brings about a smile in me too often than not even when I am frustrated. She makes me weak with her funny faces and witty actions. She turns my world into a nightware when she becomes ill. But still I find it difficult to give her the un-conditional love she deserves. May be I am the most self-centred person who could exists. I have lost my time with my wife for most part and it has only been a strained relationship after my daughter. We dont have time for each other and hardly get to speak like we did before.
Being Dad has not been easy for me. What has made it worse for me in my wife accepting the change with at most ease. I am pretty sure I am alone in this experience. Most of my friends seem to enjoy having kids and in fact have gone on to have a second one which is beyond my imagination. We need a great responsibility and make a huge sacrifice to have kids. I am certainly not the right person for that :)
