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It is kind of weird feeling when you are with a group of guys whom you hardly meet or speak, but still feel one among themslef and have fun and enjoy with them.

It is even more weird when you are with the guys whom you meet daily and speak daily and still don't feel part of them when you are with them .... :)

Mind = ???

You are turning out to be a sentimental guy.

- Rajesh

There is some kind of an negative pattern in your recent blogs.

- Sayee

These were few comments that I got from my friends for the blogs I have posted recently.Few others also reflected same comments reading my blog.So I just sat back retrospecting the stuff that I had written for the past 6 months and what my friends felt seemed true to me.There was quite a dose of bad energy in those blogs except the last one which I wrote for my 25th Birthday.But it was accidental that the blogs had a pattern which were mere incidents in my life :)Those incidents have changed me for good."That one thing which doesn't kill makes you stronger".But certainly I have not become a sentimental guy as my friend Rajesh has guessed.Even now I am predominantly a brain ruler,at the same time I am not denying the fact that I do decide from heart at times.

My zoology teacher once asked "Where is our mind ?".Back then we were flabbergasted by this question and we were not able to justify our answers.He was witty enough to counter all the reasoning we gave them then.At last we just lost the hope of convincing him with our answers.But the interesting fact at the end of the discussion was that all 20 odd people in the class had only 2 answers and they were Brain and Heart.Little did we know that Mind is just a mixture of both Heart and Brain.

I have heard people saying that he is a Heart ruler and she is a Brain ruler.So does that mean the Heart ruler makes decisions based only on what is heart says and he doest not put his brain to use and the vice-versa for the Brain rulers.. :) Of course not, the factor to differentiate is the percentage of what they use the most in most circumstances.I bring in another factor circumstances as many would use both heart and brain interchangeably depending on the circumstances.For instance a Manager may sack a person just like that using his brains but when he has something for an employee then he tends to hesitate and that is where the emotions come into picture.So for the same situation a person can use either.So in my personal opinion it is only the mind which is responsible for the decisions we make and not just the heart or the brain.

Mind is responsible for one's thoughts as well as feelings.Ones knowledge and intellectual ability depends on their Mind which is fed by both heart and brain.In simple there is not a single person the world in who is 100% either Heart ruler or 100% Brain ruler.Every human is basically a Mind ruler where heart and brain have their share to play.So where is this mind now ??? Back to square one the 8th std question and the answer is yet to be found. .... :) Let me know if anyone can come up with the answer.

As to me Mind is something logical which is wandering between heart and brain taking sides then and there :) I am sure I can justify my Zoo teacher if at all I get to meet him now.

So finally I have broken the jinx with no such patterns as felt by my friends.

One final thing " I am also a mind ruler with brain playing the most part :) "

Mi vida hasta ahora ... !

It is 1:11 AM and I sit in front of the lappy crushing my grey cells to which is now 25 years old thinking of Mi vida hasta ahora. Well there is nothing much in it worth a mention.But then everybody has their own story which they cherish. Here I cherish mine :)

My best memory of the childhood is LKG which I did in a school whose premises was in a home in my neighbourhood. It has been quite a journey from there to what and where I am today.My life graph have not seen many dips or peaks and it has been consistently average all along.The highest peak would be my 12th std when I stood 3rd in my school and 1st in my department, incidentally that's the only year I ever concentrated on my studies and the worst surge would my attempt to learn Hindi where I scored 18 on 100 in prathmic and my attempts in finding a girl friend :) I was patheticat both. It was fun in school being "Jack of many trades but master of none". I took up acting, dancing, hockey, karate, and even singing and keyboard but never did I excel in any of these. May be the only thing I was good at was talking and I remember my history teacher telling me that I will become an orator one day.

I was a timid and was bullied till my 7th std and it is only after that I came into terms with life.Few changes during 9th std helped me and the next 4 yrs of school was great I should say. Never will I forget a moment in those 4 years. My failed attempts in overhauling the beautiful girl (at that time) in studies,getting caught in many scams ranging from question paper stealing to eve teasing,those night studies where we never studied,tuition classes where we hardly listened and all those movies I watched lying to my parents, fighting with friends for silly things,First love and also second love :) ,getting to know all filthy language very early,sex lessons & matter movies and many more. Everything is still fresh in my mind. Minnalae deserves a special mention here as we watched that 14 times in theatre in a span of 2 months before our 12th public exams.And 8th std also deserves a special mention as I was close to being evicted from school twice and managed to get put of them even before my parents knew about that. I wonder if my dad knew about them even now. :)

As far as college is concerned it was a total cultural shock to me and it took couple of months for me to get used to it and then it was just another 4 years of fun.It was complete fun filled life both at hostel and in the classes.I learnt enough there if not technically but personally.It was here I was getting matured to a great deal and there a great deal of change in my lifestlye.I met few of my close friends with whom I have had a great time and also a Girl on whom I had a no clue that she will come through rest of my life. I also met of couple of girls one who is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen till date and another whom I admire till date. It was unfortunate I didn't get to know them personally :) I should really thank god coming out of college without any history of arrears and getting a decent job at the end though I never liked it.

It has been almost 4 years after college and these four years have been the toughest of all 25.The only good thing after college for me was I got a girl friend who is more than what I deserve.She had thought what love is all about and how it feels to be loved.I have learnt hell lot about life than I did for couple of decades.These 4 years have proved many of my perceptions and theories about life I had till college.I am yet to come in terms with that. It has not been an easy change as it was in college. May be it is because I don't want to accept it as I don't like it :) I have seen drastic changes in my thoughts and I am not sure if I am convinced of the life that I lead now or wanted in future.Few choices by me have gone wrong and a great deal of dilema prevails at the moment and the a recent recession had a very little part to play in it.But still it is interesting and I am hoping to get out of it ASAP.After all you have to go through rough patch at somepoint of time in life :)

It is 2:58 now and I am almost dozing off.But memories of life hits my mind fresh like the waves hit the shore.It was great rewinding my life so far.There has been lot more apart from what is written here and I hope there will be a lot more when I sit down to write again at 50.Hopefully I am alive to do that :)

The journey continues ......

Winners Biography

" Pen is mighter than sword " and many from the Media fraternity would agree to this and so will the common man. Infact it is media who decides what we read in our history lessons. :) 

But now the question is Is the power of the pen put to good use ????  The answer is obvious. Well we will not take the channels owned by the Political parties who just boast of their so called achievements which they have never done and cheap blaming of the opposition parties.It is the normal media I am talking about and not even the tabloids which are known to publish only the gossips and conspiracies  which may become true later.

The incident which triggered this thought was a news in which the media were keen to report the luxury Car a celebrity would get for her fiancee and her marriage arrangements at the cost of another women's life. They were least infact not at all bothered about the one who was loosing her life. Does this mean that the media is not bothered a women's life and will not bring the injustice incurred to a lady out to the world... ??? Of course not they are not that cruel :) All they need is that the ladyloosing her life has to be another celebrity for them to come up with some cheap front page headlines like the below one. 

" Clash of the Titans for life "

The person I am talking about none oter than who won the reality show in London and have shot  to fame juts by getting bullied by others in the reality show :)

After all History is nothing but a Winners Biography.

Good Old Games

Thaayam

Seven Stones

Cards

Leg Bye

Lock and Key

Jodi Pura

Kaaviyam Mani Kaaviyam

Kala Manna

Police Thirundan

Paramapadham

Chinese Checkers

Sottangalu

Nondi

Chilakku

Pulla Bandhu

Kitti

Oolunchu Pudichu ( Hide and Seek ) 

For those of you who wonder what the hell these are, The above is the list of games which used to keep us engaged in the Summer Hols back in childhood days.This is summer again and all I do now is bang my head into computers in the office and do the same in back in home.The only difference in home is that I use a lappy and use it for fun.

I am sure thinking of those days will make u sad but still bring a subtle smile from within. Can't we be a child again ??? This is something that most people think of and wanted to be but it is highly impossible. Is it really impossible ? Of course not.We can always be a child and it is our choice. But as we grow up we dump many things into our mind and heart and don't let our emotions out.Have you ever seen grown ups indulge in physical fights like children do and laugh out loud as though there is no problem in the whole universe with the same person whom they fought with in another 10 mins.I would be surprised or rather taken aback to hear an yes.They never learn the word diplomacy till they grow up. Their actions are straight from the heart and that's what helps them to be happy always.

The will to be a child or rather as happy as a child depends on our mind and the priorities we set for our self. As far as the child is concerned their happiness depends on the candy they get,games they play, new dress they wear for a festival and the films they watch of their favourite star. As we grow up we tend to forget all the happiness that we get doing such simple things and strive harder and harder, not satisfied with what we have got. What pushes us so hard is one simple fact is " Peer Pressure". I have heard many saying.... 

"He gets a better salary man" 

"He owns a luxury car" 

"She has got a jewel set wit diamonds"

"Man he got a new girl friend"  

" You know what he has built a new home"

so on so forth that they never realise what they have for themselves. They care more about how others lead life and try living in parallel lines. That is where all the problems start. According to me everyone has their own life which they have to relish.I really wonder why people attend sessions from " Art of Living". Isn't that something which should be natural .... ???? Keep life simple and Live your own life,You can be as happy as a child is forever.

Do something because you like doing it and not because someone else is doing it and that gives them happiness.

PS: For explantion of the games mail me personally @ naga.presin@gmail.com :) 

My Ocean

Known is a drop and unknown is a ocean is a well known saying and is 200% true.We can keep learning throughout our life as long as u have interest to learn something.Having said this it is almost a quarter century since my birth and I have my own list which I always wanted to learn but have not so far.

Keyboard - I as such a great interest in music that I was a choir member in school.This black box as somehow attracted me and I love running my fingers through it.

Cricket - As another other normal Indian kid my dream was to be Sachin.Born in Madurai in a conservative family ruined my dream... :) 

Basket Ball - To me this is a glamour game and I just wanted to learn it to show off... :)

Poker - I just love the contradicting silence and arrogance at the same time involved in this game. Well thanks to facebook I am practising it online now without loosing my money.

Dancing - This is my childhood interest and I have even tried my hand in it.But most attempts were group dancing. I always wanted to dance with a pair and I regret ruing my only chance to dance with a junior girl in school due to inferiority complex and shyness ... :) I cant believe I was shy then.

Sign Language - It is always fun to communicate in a language that most people or foreign to.

Horse Riding - You feel like  aking when u are in a horse. Have rode once in the beach but I would love to ride on a real horse :) 

MBA - Above all  MBA has been the most important thing I wanted to learn in my life."MBA is a thavam" .It started as an intuition back in childhood days and has become an obsession now. I even have an awful promise that I made to myself till I finish my MBA.The worst part is that I haven't made an serious attempt for that and am still playing the game called LIFE safe... :) 

Having finished my unknown drops it looks like a tag and everyone in my blog roll can complete it.

Lost

"I want to continue your friendship for rest of my life "

"I hope we remain friends forever ".. and so on these were few lines that I found in my Slam Book. People who wrote this are not in contact with any.They have their own set of friends from their work place and forget the ones from college.


Its normal dude, why do u want to make a fuzz of it now ?????

Of course it is normal and I am not making a fuzz of it. It is the hypocrites that I am bothered about.There was this one guy who cried like a girl in our farewell an created such a scene as if he is going to miss us more than anything but never bothered to keep in touch with any after college.It is so funny to see photos of that guy crying in farewell now... :) As for the others they are in touch somehow or at least make an attempt to be in touch with. I am really happy about it. After all, everyone has their own life to be taken care of and everyone has very little time for friends in this competitive world.Everyone has to accept this bitter fact. At the same time it does not mean that you don't have time for a call or mail or even a scrap. That sounds ridiculous to me.

What prompted me in writing this blog is many of my friends didn't turn-up to check on me after a surgery which I had recently in my spine. I was really dis-appointed. I am not blaming the ones in Chennai. Travelling 450 Kms just to check on me is not a great a trip to make ... :) She1 from " NEWFORT " who was very stubborn being friend with me didn't even care calling me. Another called saying that she would drop by but never did, but she did call me back again for some help.Bloody selfish :-/. Even after me reaching chennai only few close friends came home and many were busy with their business and didn't find an hour to meet me.One of my close friend who used to visit me often didn't even help me get some stuff and that was a great shock to me.Nevertheless I had to overcome it and did so with some pain.Now I DEAFA, I was like this a year back and was never caught in the emotional battle. But these 5 months of after surgery life has been tough. But it has only made me more stronger in mind than I was before :)

"That one thing which does not kill you can only make you stronger"

And now you know what we have LOST in this Modern, Competitive and Mechanical world.


So does this mean that none cared or loved or helped me in these 5 months ? Well I would be an idiot to say yes. It would be unfair not to write about them.Many have helped me to get over and I should really thank all for their help. Couple of my school friends would visit me daily with another friend of us and that was a great help as we laughed talking of the good old days....:) Another from Finland and few from US and Singapore would call me once in a while and that was soothing. Couple of other friends met me when I was in ICU and couple others met me after reaching Chennai.Of course my family members has been supportive throughout without whom I wouldn't have become normal as I am today. There were days when I was not able to walk also :(.... Many others from my office and college prayed for my good health and I am really overwhelmed by their love and care. Above all my sweetheart who has been with me all through this and will be with me throughout my life.

Love you all :)
I hope I run and ride bike and be normal as i was before in another one year..... :)