I was on bench for quite
some time and had rejected couple of ludicrous project assignments rubbing few
shoulders on the way. I was living quite dangerously for quite a few months, it
all started turning around in last week of Jan 2019. In fact I had attended an
client interview and cleared to work as a test manager for a new project in a
new domain. We were on the proposal while assisting in tracking another
automation project as well on the side. Things started taking a turn when I
decided to have a one-on-one meeting with my L1 asking to move me into Quality
team and in parallel the project getting delayed. And this was in midst of a
company takeover. ! ! ! I had to convince my wife for a Bangalore move as the
quality opening was available only in Bangalore and in fact started house
hunting to enjoy a bachelor life after 5 years, hiding my fear about living
alone again :) I was no
more an asset and became a liability to my L1 and she had no reason to hold me.
I was in the open turf ready to be shot at. I had meanwhile negotiated and
agreed to take up a technical role completely out of my comfort zone with my
previous Manager. I was to go and talk to my RM and confirm the change and move
into the new role in couple of days.
It was at this moment I
received a ping from the HR asking me to come a conference room. I could sense
what was going on and informed my confidantes before I joined the so called
meeting. As feared I was shown the door stating that they were not able to find
me any projects. I was just perplexed and went mad in my head. I was angry,
disappointed, frustrated, cheated, let down etc etc but in a corner felt happy
also for some reason. My emotions were running high, and I just wanted to burst
right there. It seemed like the end. I wanted to leave the room blaming them
for ruining my life. But didn’t and in hindsight that was the right thing to
do. I would have done the same , had i been in their place. They had been
supportive of me for the past 8 years and the same guys even retained me a year
back when I was forcing to find my way out of the company. The HR was arrogant
to the core and she did get under my skin, but I liked the deal of being paid
few months' of salary for my service and immediate termination.
I just had to leave not
having a farewell from my team or friends. That was my only disappointment at
that point of time. I always wanted this rosy farewell from my team when I left
the organisation and a parting gift :)
I know it was not because
I performed bad and I know I was better for sure. I know I was financially ok
to handle the situation. I knew this was bound to happen and this is how
corporates operate having seen through couple of recession earlier. But still
the reality dawns on you no matter how well prepared you are. The next 2 days
was really painful and I shut myself completely from outside world, just vented
out my anger and frustration by avoiding even a morsel of food for almost 2
days straight. I pity my partner for she could do nothing to make me feel
better. It took me almost 10 days for me to completely get out of what had
happened out of my system. Thanks to the meditation school I am associated
with. Ideally it should have been much quicker, but being the person I was, 10
days was not bad. People very close to me would consider it damn quick.
What was more heartening
to hear was, when people said they thought I will be alright and will handle
the situation with ease. Everyone that I called for help did their best to get
me a job. Even acquaintances helped and I started getting calls from all over.
Few of my friends encouraged me to go on a vacation for I wouldn’t get such
time after I get a new job :) Few of my
reportes even took the pain to call and express their disbelief. My confidantes in
the company fought with the HR and they assured me that I will ride through
this as quickly as possible.
I felt insecure without a
job and tried my best to distract myself. For some reason in spite of all that
was happening around I was happy and laughing. I gave quite a few interviews
and turned down couple. I just didn’t want to rush into something that I was
not comfortable and be a failure again. I was up brutally honest about being
laid off and it was not taken negatively by any of the interviewers ! ! ! Most
of the interviews went well and I was closing on a job in Bangalore. But deep
within my heart I prayed and hoped for one in Chennai. And then out of nowhere
I contacted an old contact and it all happened in a Jiffy. I was told to come
for an interview the next day and strangely I told my wife that I will get the
job. Never have I been this positive and after giving my first round I called
her again to say that I am not going to step out of this campus without a job.
I had another three rounds of drilling and end of the day I was told that I
will be taken in and that too with a decent hike. I was happy and calm , not
ecstatic as I was when I got my first job 13 years back :)
This was a new me
realizing that as long as you stay positive good things will come by you. After
struggling for 30 odd days and everything changes in a single day.I made a conscious
decision not to write on this till I could post positively. I stayed away from
everyone just hoping not to spread negativity. Started morning walks to keep me
fresh and reduce weight by an iota. I met my friends after a month or so after
receiving the offer letter for a new job. I didn’t meet my team and met them
only on 4th July 2019 exactly 2 months from when I was sent out, with the new
ID card. I should thank everyone around especially my wife for being
supportive. She was even ready to feed me for life, as long as I stay happy at
home. It was a compelling offer , but still turned it down ;)
I came to realize that if
something had to happen it will take its course. Just go with the flow and
things will fall in place. I know it is easier said than done. But I am sure
with experience everyone will get to learn this lesson at some point in their
lives. I have consciously
avoided taking names of those who helped in this tough times for I feel it is
more personal and appropriate to do it in person.
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