Mind = ???

You are turning out to be a sentimental guy.

- Rajesh

There is some kind of an negative pattern in your recent blogs.

- Sayee

These were few comments that I got from my friends for the blogs I have posted recently.Few others also reflected same comments reading my blog.So I just sat back retrospecting the stuff that I had written for the past 6 months and what my friends felt seemed true to me.There was quite a dose of bad energy in those blogs except the last one which I wrote for my 25th Birthday.But it was accidental that the blogs had a pattern which were mere incidents in my life :)Those incidents have changed me for good."That one thing which doesn't kill makes you stronger".But certainly I have not become a sentimental guy as my friend Rajesh has guessed.Even now I am predominantly a brain ruler,at the same time I am not denying the fact that I do decide from heart at times.

My zoology teacher once asked "Where is our mind ?".Back then we were flabbergasted by this question and we were not able to justify our answers.He was witty enough to counter all the reasoning we gave them then.At last we just lost the hope of convincing him with our answers.But the interesting fact at the end of the discussion was that all 20 odd people in the class had only 2 answers and they were Brain and Heart.Little did we know that Mind is just a mixture of both Heart and Brain.

I have heard people saying that he is a Heart ruler and she is a Brain ruler.So does that mean the Heart ruler makes decisions based only on what is heart says and he doest not put his brain to use and the vice-versa for the Brain rulers.. :) Of course not, the factor to differentiate is the percentage of what they use the most in most circumstances.I bring in another factor circumstances as many would use both heart and brain interchangeably depending on the circumstances.For instance a Manager may sack a person just like that using his brains but when he has something for an employee then he tends to hesitate and that is where the emotions come into picture.So for the same situation a person can use either.So in my personal opinion it is only the mind which is responsible for the decisions we make and not just the heart or the brain.

Mind is responsible for one's thoughts as well as feelings.Ones knowledge and intellectual ability depends on their Mind which is fed by both heart and brain.In simple there is not a single person the world in who is 100% either Heart ruler or 100% Brain ruler.Every human is basically a Mind ruler where heart and brain have their share to play.So where is this mind now ??? Back to square one the 8th std question and the answer is yet to be found. .... :) Let me know if anyone can come up with the answer.

As to me Mind is something logical which is wandering between heart and brain taking sides then and there :) I am sure I can justify my Zoo teacher if at all I get to meet him now.

So finally I have broken the jinx with no such patterns as felt by my friends.

One final thing " I am also a mind ruler with brain playing the most part :) "

Mi vida hasta ahora ... !

It is 1:11 AM and I sit in front of the lappy crushing my grey cells to which is now 25 years old thinking of Mi vida hasta ahora. Well there is nothing much in it worth a mention.But then everybody has their own story which they cherish. Here I cherish mine :)

My best memory of the childhood is LKG which I did in a school whose premises was in a home in my neighbourhood. It has been quite a journey from there to what and where I am today.My life graph have not seen many dips or peaks and it has been consistently average all along.The highest peak would be my 12th std when I stood 3rd in my school and 1st in my department, incidentally that's the only year I ever concentrated on my studies and the worst surge would my attempt to learn Hindi where I scored 18 on 100 in prathmic and my attempts in finding a girl friend :) I was patheticat both. It was fun in school being "Jack of many trades but master of none". I took up acting, dancing, hockey, karate, and even singing and keyboard but never did I excel in any of these. May be the only thing I was good at was talking and I remember my history teacher telling me that I will become an orator one day.

I was a timid and was bullied till my 7th std and it is only after that I came into terms with life.Few changes during 9th std helped me and the next 4 yrs of school was great I should say. Never will I forget a moment in those 4 years. My failed attempts in overhauling the beautiful girl (at that time) in studies,getting caught in many scams ranging from question paper stealing to eve teasing,those night studies where we never studied,tuition classes where we hardly listened and all those movies I watched lying to my parents, fighting with friends for silly things,First love and also second love :) ,getting to know all filthy language very early,sex lessons & matter movies and many more. Everything is still fresh in my mind. Minnalae deserves a special mention here as we watched that 14 times in theatre in a span of 2 months before our 12th public exams.And 8th std also deserves a special mention as I was close to being evicted from school twice and managed to get put of them even before my parents knew about that. I wonder if my dad knew about them even now. :)

As far as college is concerned it was a total cultural shock to me and it took couple of months for me to get used to it and then it was just another 4 years of fun.It was complete fun filled life both at hostel and in the classes.I learnt enough there if not technically but personally.It was here I was getting matured to a great deal and there a great deal of change in my lifestlye.I met few of my close friends with whom I have had a great time and also a Girl on whom I had a no clue that she will come through rest of my life. I also met of couple of girls one who is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen till date and another whom I admire till date. It was unfortunate I didn't get to know them personally :) I should really thank god coming out of college without any history of arrears and getting a decent job at the end though I never liked it.

It has been almost 4 years after college and these four years have been the toughest of all 25.The only good thing after college for me was I got a girl friend who is more than what I deserve.She had thought what love is all about and how it feels to be loved.I have learnt hell lot about life than I did for couple of decades.These 4 years have proved many of my perceptions and theories about life I had till college.I am yet to come in terms with that. It has not been an easy change as it was in college. May be it is because I don't want to accept it as I don't like it :) I have seen drastic changes in my thoughts and I am not sure if I am convinced of the life that I lead now or wanted in future.Few choices by me have gone wrong and a great deal of dilema prevails at the moment and the a recent recession had a very little part to play in it.But still it is interesting and I am hoping to get out of it ASAP.After all you have to go through rough patch at somepoint of time in life :)

It is 2:58 now and I am almost dozing off.But memories of life hits my mind fresh like the waves hit the shore.It was great rewinding my life so far.There has been lot more apart from what is written here and I hope there will be a lot more when I sit down to write again at 50.Hopefully I am alive to do that :)

The journey continues ......