This is one topic which most girls may find it offending, it would be better for them to stop with this very first sentence before hating me ... :) So here we go .....
I see many girls these days cut short of smiles which they had a few months back only to remember that they are married now and live with their In-Laws. Well it is really difficult for the girls to leave a place and people with whom they have been comfortable with for the past 20 odd years and move to a new place and get used to all those whom they have hardly met. This holds good for any kind of a marriage.Well this relocation concept as they call in IT industry is difficult for guys too.But it's the girls who are the scape goats in our society set-up and I really pity them and there is very little that we can do about it.
So what is that very little we can do about it ? Hmmm... ! Thats a Good question :)
This doesn't mean that I don't have an answer for this. I do have one and it is simple. All that we have to is just understand others and their feelings or emotions what ever they call it. Easier said than done. ... :) I know. Well somehow I get a feeling that most Mother-In-Law and Daughter-In-Laws hates each other.Spending considerable time analysing what the reason behind this,we will narrow down to a simple issue called the possessiveness :) The Mother feels that her son is being taken away from her while the girl finds her In-Law to be great hindrance in her way to get along with her husband.It is just a pshycological problem.
Simple fact is the newly weds needs to spend considerable time to get along and it is very natural that they spend most of their time with the new found companion than anybody else.Everybody takes a back seat in their life including siblings,friends and even parents.All we have to realise is that after marriage the priorities get changed which would have been the case even when they were married but somehow they find it difficult to get in terms when they face the music.
Now coming to guys,all they have to do is reduce or if possible abort their Male Chauvinism and treat their In-Laws as their parents and not like a strangers on whom you can count on for your financial needs.No offence here but that's how many are today.Exceptions are handful in this case.
And now to girls, they are the ones with a major chunk to do here. Treat your In-Laws as your family and don't get bogged down by the thought that you have to adjust to all this crap until I get the guy out of this family and start a nuclear family.Instead try to adapt to the new life and you will feel part of a new family as you felt back in your home.I bet this will never happen overnight but then it will happen for sure provided you are patient enough. How long is a question nobody can answer.
It all depends on how much both parties wanting to be together in harmony... :)
The whole point behind me writing this post is a question from my friend. "What do u think about a Joint Family" ? Well when someone asks you a opinion on something you can be assured that they have something against it. I did give her my opinion on that, but what was shocking to know was her idea about the joint family.To me a joint family is one where u haveathais,mamas,chithappas,chithis,paati.thatha so on and so forth.I guess most would agree with me on this,but to her just the presence of In-Laws makes it a joint family. I was alarmed to hear this. May be it is because of the definition in one of our company policy for family where it reads " Family is you , your spouse and your kids " .. :)
Well may be she is not at fault. The society has now become more self-centred and everybody thinks only for themself than it was before including me.The family set-up is now becoming more and more nuclear and thats ridiculous for me. I wonder who will take care of the parents if everyone wants to live only with their better-half.One thing we have to remember is ,what we are today and what we will be tomorrow is all because of our parent's sacrifice in the past and it is really unfair to be bloody selfish and live only for yourself ignoring the elders.
I would suggest, infact advice against having a companion who is not going treat your parents with some concern.This holds good for both guys and girls.
