Selections .....

So far I have had 5 of my friends get married this year and few more are planned in the near future. Not to mention the umpteen number of friends who are in a desperate hunt for a life partner. This seems to be the most discussed topic these days no matter where we go and it is the same even when I talk with my family members. Now I realise that I am growing older and older and it is the perfect age for my friends to get married and it is high time for girls of my age.

The selection process for a life partner varies to a great extent from each and every individual. Parents have a different criteria while children have a completely different criteria or rather contradicting ones. I would be highly surprised if people are able to find a perfect life partner after passing through both the filters. From what I have seen and heard so far Religion,Caste,Creed, and Horoscope is the first filter in selection process. There is little compromise on these when it comes to arranged marriage. It's a shame that needs to be accepted. Pushing this aside there have been few peculiar expectations I came across like one girl wanted to know the fitness regime of the guy she intend to marry. Though the expectation is a practical one it sounded weird.

Most of the rejections from the brides are based purely on salary cap and work location which these days have been a major factor and when it comes to guys the rejections have been mostly due because of the external beauty. Guys are always guys :) We are never going to change. While the previous has a scale to measure the later is totally left to the person's discretion and one can never draw a scale for that. It is pretty difficult for the parents and guys to have similar taste when it comes to the beauty.

I have seen my share of girls getting married to guys settled in USA. The reasons can be debated and I remain a stranger about them till date. I have even seen a profile where the expectation column had nothing but the salary and work location mentioned. I was literally flabbergasted to see a profile which read something like below "I would like a partner with a good job earning handsome salary in the following countries 
a. USA
b.Europe 
c.Australia 
d. New Zealand"

I don't want to pen down my perceptions here as it might not sound rosy and will even offend many who pursue their masters with sponsorship from their better half :) I have heard my own friend from college who has settled in USA for close to 4 years saying  "Dei I am more than willing to sponsor for her course da. Vera enna machi panna mudiyum. Illati ponnu kudukka maatanga machi. :D It is after all part and parcel of the marriage deal." Few others are very particular in making sure that that they don't have to live with their in-laws and they convey it with a high degree of diplomacy and not point blank.... :) Some even define that living with in-laws to be a joint family. It sounded ridiculous but couldn't help it either it is all because the family structure these days which is getting more and more nuclear these days. I would prefer rather want to live with my parents and in-laws in the same house which I believe will be the perfect way, but that has got it's own complications. :)

I am sure everyone these days are very clear on what they are looking for in their life partners. It is good to see many sticking to their expectations and waiting for their right one. But at the same time I also feel that we have to make some compromise at some point of time. It would be good for us if we can appreciate the imperfections in people and get along with the life instead of being stubborn. It is damn difficult to find partner matching our expectations to an exact measure.

It is always better to bend rather than break.