Selections .....

So far I have had 5 of my friends get married this year and few more are planned in the near future. Not to mention the umpteen number of friends who are in a desperate hunt for a life partner. This seems to be the most discussed topic these days no matter where we go and it is the same even when I talk with my family members. Now I realise that I am growing older and older and it is the perfect age for my friends to get married and it is high time for girls of my age.

The selection process for a life partner varies to a great extent from each and every individual. Parents have a different criteria while children have a completely different criteria or rather contradicting ones. I would be highly surprised if people are able to find a perfect life partner after passing through both the filters. From what I have seen and heard so far Religion,Caste,Creed, and Horoscope is the first filter in selection process. There is little compromise on these when it comes to arranged marriage. It's a shame that needs to be accepted. Pushing this aside there have been few peculiar expectations I came across like one girl wanted to know the fitness regime of the guy she intend to marry. Though the expectation is a practical one it sounded weird.

Most of the rejections from the brides are based purely on salary cap and work location which these days have been a major factor and when it comes to guys the rejections have been mostly due because of the external beauty. Guys are always guys :) We are never going to change. While the previous has a scale to measure the later is totally left to the person's discretion and one can never draw a scale for that. It is pretty difficult for the parents and guys to have similar taste when it comes to the beauty.

I have seen my share of girls getting married to guys settled in USA. The reasons can be debated and I remain a stranger about them till date. I have even seen a profile where the expectation column had nothing but the salary and work location mentioned. I was literally flabbergasted to see a profile which read something like below "I would like a partner with a good job earning handsome salary in the following countries 
a. USA
b.Europe 
c.Australia 
d. New Zealand"

I don't want to pen down my perceptions here as it might not sound rosy and will even offend many who pursue their masters with sponsorship from their better half :) I have heard my own friend from college who has settled in USA for close to 4 years saying  "Dei I am more than willing to sponsor for her course da. Vera enna machi panna mudiyum. Illati ponnu kudukka maatanga machi. :D It is after all part and parcel of the marriage deal." Few others are very particular in making sure that that they don't have to live with their in-laws and they convey it with a high degree of diplomacy and not point blank.... :) Some even define that living with in-laws to be a joint family. It sounded ridiculous but couldn't help it either it is all because the family structure these days which is getting more and more nuclear these days. I would prefer rather want to live with my parents and in-laws in the same house which I believe will be the perfect way, but that has got it's own complications. :)

I am sure everyone these days are very clear on what they are looking for in their life partners. It is good to see many sticking to their expectations and waiting for their right one. But at the same time I also feel that we have to make some compromise at some point of time. It would be good for us if we can appreciate the imperfections in people and get along with the life instead of being stubborn. It is damn difficult to find partner matching our expectations to an exact measure.

It is always better to bend rather than break.

Frantic 50 minutes.....

It was a Saturday and I was to travel to Yercaud for my friend's engagement late that night. The train was scheduled to leave at around 11 PM. It was just six in the evening, so I decided to take a nap for a while before I pack. Packing is always done at the last minute for my travel no matter where I travel and what the purpose is ... :)  As I was just getting into sleep I had a flash of a thought about the file that I got from my college on an ill-fated convocation day. Pity that my grey cells failed to recollect where I had placed it, after taking few photo copies of all the certificates. The thought of taking a nap just vanished away, my brain was working as fast as it has ever been, trying to recollect where I had placed the file with little luck :( ....

I had the experience of loosing my passport once before and I could still feel the pain I had to go through to get a new one. This time it was all the mark sheets right from 10th std to my UG certificate which also included Community Certificate and few others. I just couldn't stand the thought of having to apply for duplicates for that was lost ones. Standing in long queues in the government offices, bribing for each and every and everything, time it would take to get them back, facing the negligent attitude from all the government employees, and not to mention the procedure to obtain a certificate from the police for the lost file. All these thought were haunting me to a great extent. It was a humongous task which was highly impossible to pull off without going through the back doors :( ....

I ransacked the entire house 3 or 4 times in a gap of  just 15 minutes and was still left with no hope of finding the file. I was trying my best to stay calm and composed as much as possible but was sweating like a pig because of the tension deep within me :) As my mind raced on what can be done next some intuition prompted me to check my office locker as I did carry the file for some purpose to the office. I decided to go ahead and started my bike as I received a call from my dear friend Prudhvi after a very long time. It had been ages since we spoke but I was in no position to have a conversation with him at that moment. I tried to convey him the chaotic situation on hand but the poor line made me dial few times only to hear a voice instructing some crap in Finnish.

I chucked the phone call for the moment and started racing towards my office. Saturday traffic didn't help my cause forcing me to jump most of the signals ignoring the policemen standing there to pounce on the violators and also all the calls from my friend. Not to mention the number of risky maneuvers I had to attempt on the way. It took me about 25 minutes to reach my building which was great considering the traffic on the way. In a frantic attempt I reported about the lost file on my way to the 8th floor where our office was located, to the security officers in the building. I was offering prayers like never before as I do in difficult times in the lift till I reached my cubicle. As I opened the locker there was nothing but disappointment in front of me  :( All I could find was few papers and an empty box. I took a sulking ride back home and I was completely shaken by this whole thought of having to go through the pain of getting my duplicates. The worst part of all is facing the police for a NOC for the lost file.

I reached home after preparing my mind to accept the fact that the file was lost with great difficulty. I started arranging all the stuff that was strewn all over the place in my attempt to find the file. I was half way through with the stuff when I found the file in the very same locker sticking to it's wall. I couldn't figure out how that had happened but I took a huge a sigh of relief and went back to call my friend. We spoke for almost an hour then, taking it from where we had left the last time and it was good talking to him as always after quite a while :)  I packed for the trip at the last minute as usual and left home just in time to catch the train .... :) I never had the chance to take the nap I wanted to before the travel finally :)

They say sky diving , bungee jumping to be thrilling,exciting and brings in an adrenaline rush. I say lose your all certs and you will know what an adrenaline rush is really like :)

What was in his mind ????

It was yet another lunch break and we were standing in a long queue, for the lunch was delayed due to heavy rains that day. There was this girl who was new to the company and was standing at a foot's distance away from us. She had a glowing skin,silky hair flowing like a wave over her sleeves with cute little eyes and looked just like an angel in a bright white plain salwar.Obviously I was staring at her and only at her :) Little did I notice of another guy standing in front of her neatly dressed in perfect formals. That was for a company which does not insist on a dress code. Only then I realised that there was a recruitment drive happening that day and the written tests were just completed. Having realised the fact, I was so concerned that I may not see the girl around in future.

Then came the tough act of having the same SRM (Sambar,Rasam,More which is nothing but buttermilk) yet again. As the caterers started arranging them in the respective slots before serving, the sambar can which was completely filed tumbled and they spilt it over on the floor. The guy I mentioned earlier had to take few steps back to avoid any havoc before getting into the interview. Unfortunately he bumped into the beautiful girl accidentally. As he apologised and walked away I was startled by the girl's reaction. She just mumbled the words indecent fellow and gave him a dirty look as though he had committed a sin. He walked away with his head drooping for no mistake of his.She didn't even bother acknowledging his apologies. She was cursing him the entire time she was standing in the queue. I felt sad for that guy and was lost trying to understand they way she reacted.

We settled down in a table adjacent to the one where she was sitting alone still mumbling something. Discussion that day revolved a lot around that girl and what had happened few minutes before in the queue. One of my friends exclaimed "Man she is such a gorgeous one da". Another replied "Machi vetti bandha da. Yevlo Alagha irundhalam evalavu scene kudumbathukku  agaathu machi". We burst into laughter on that comment and that continued for another 30 odd minutes. We enjoyed the discussion more than the lunch as always. I wish she didn't hear what we were discussing that day.

I was done for the day and was heading home after a tiring day. I had to take a share auto to the station from where it took another 30 minutes to reach my place. The worst part of the travel is the share auto where you have to share a ride with anyone and everyone. We can never see anyone sitting that close anywhere else. I always prefer sitting next to driver just to avoid the congestion at the back. The only Auto in the stand was completely filled and I had to a take a seat at the back that day. As I entered the auto there was the same girl whom I saw in the morning sitting already in a discomfort next to some guy. I had no choice but to ask her to move a little bit and squeeze my huge frame into the available space. I settled down for the 5 minute ride and while trying to place my hand comfortably I had to put it on the guy sitting next to her. You know how difficult to travel in a share auto :( ....

As I turned to apologize to that guy I couldn't control smiling. The guy sitting next to her was none other than the same guy she insulted back at the office. He was on his mobile talking to someone with a smile in his face and she must be cursing the share auto ride for obvious reasons. I was ................... Does it really matter how I felt at that moment. I seriously wanted to know how the other guy felt at the moment. ! ! ! That remains a mystery till date :) :) :)  Life is highly unpredictable.

PS : No offence intended to any girl out there. It was just a incident that I came across in my life :)

2011

I have been in Chennai for almost a decade now and this is the first time I stayed back for the New Year. I know it sounds weird but that's the fact. I make sure that I always go to my native Madurai for the new year and I attend midnight mass in a church close to my house. This has been the routine right from 12th standard for some reason and I continued with that :)

So having decided to stay back I somehow wanted to go somewhere for the new year celebrations instead of sleeping at my home and after lots of confusion we ended up paying close to 2000 bucks for a night at the Radisson in the GST road. That was the cheapest and safest considering our residents. As we entered the hall there was nothing spectacular. We started of with the food and that was the best part of the night for me. They had a wide choice which included kerala style fish and few other continental dishes of which a desert made out of rum and brownie was yummy. Being a foodie the purpose for me was already served even before the celebrations started :)

As we started having our food there was this guy who started of the celebration with some simple games which were quite familiar to us and the only different thing here was that all old people played in front of the entire crowd. There were few intimidating games and it was a common sight to see husbands kissing and hugging their wives in front of the crowd which I believe is quite a culture in these places these days and I was not startled by any of these but few were. I could see them looking with an awe the way people behaved in front of the crowd. I was just wondering how my parents or for that matter even my sisters would feel had I brought them with me for this celebrations. For sure it would have ruined a nice day for me :)

Most among the crowd were people from the upper class or the upper middle class people with an apt outfit for the occasion and they looked so among the crowd. The dads and husbands found nothing odd with the length of the dress theirs kids or wives wore which would have irked common people for sure. They just got along with the celebrations and it gave an indication that this was yet another New Year party for them unlike us and another bunch of bachelors in the corner of that room.  Everyone was playing and enjoying each and every moment there and danced their way into new year 2011 with great joy. It was a memorable night for me too as that was the first New Year party I have ever been in my life.

But there was this section of crowd who were so stuck to their orthodox attitude and were trying their level best to look normal among this high class crowd. I assume that they have come just on the compulsion of their husbands and few even tried playing and dancing with sarees and it is obvious why it has a special mention here in the post. Few were even drinking in front their small kids and that's the only thing startled me on the night. They looked so lost in this world and were just trying their best to imitate what others were doing. I don't understand why would they want to do it in first place. They somehow think that it adds some brand value to them but it is worth nothing. It is always best to be what you are and what you feel.

I really feel sad for all those who are just trying to be an !@#$% when they are actually not one.

My First Attempt

Nirmal : Halloooo ... Whoo is this ? (in a frustrated tone)

Swetha : Hey this is Swetha …. Hmmm……

Nirmal: (Super Excited and completely out of sleep) Heyyyy ... Happy Birthday ... :)

Swetha:  ya thnx man ….

Nirmal: having a blast with your friends  ??? 

Swetha: ya just done with the cake cutting …..somehow felt a little weird not to find ur msg on phone by 12 ... Don't know why ! ! !

Nirmal: hmmm.... hey have a blast ... catch u sometime …. Take Care... See You ... (Hangs with a heavy Heart)

Swetha: hmm.... Ya Bye...

Dei machi it is already 6:30 ..Walking polaiya da nee ??? He wakes up just to realize that the conversation was just a dream. Hmmm … Good it happens at least in dreams .. J As he was getting out of the bed he heard his friend screaming from the other room ... " Machan you had a call around 12 da. I tried waking you up with no luck... It was from an unknown number so just left it unanswered.

Apadiya  ! ! ! He was still feeling sleepy and checked his phone to find a call missed and an unread message. Unable to figure out the identity of the number he just got into the message folder to find a new message again from the same unknown number …. And it read “Hey was waiting for ur msg which never came :) enna flata nethu night? “ with time displayed as 12:03 AM .

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5 years back…

It has been almost few weeks since Nirmal joined this college in Chennai and he was really excited about the fact that there were quite a number of figures for him to hit on though he was not capable of doing :) Well being from a remote place like Trichy there is no wonder that he is a little hyper to be in this college. He was enjoying each and every moment of his college life sitting behind the most beautiful girl in the entire college.


It was after a couple months did he take notice of this girl who was not that beautiful as many other girls in his college, she was a little fat but still he fell for her without any reason. Though it sounds clichéd that’s the way it was. He really had no reasons whatsoever. She was cute with those glittering ear drops and the complete black salwar suited her complexion to perfection. May be she was looking that way because he admired her a lot :) but his world was in standstill for now and it was that way for the next 4 years.


Fortunately she was in the same class as he was but that didn’t help him in getting to know her better which he always wanted to do. He at times got a few chances to talk to her and at other times he created a few chances to talk to her and he would cherish each and every moment he spent with her though not many for the rest his college life.

In one of the few interval break he got to talk with her ......


Nirmal : Hey Swetha …. Howz ur headache ????  are you okay now …..


Swetha: Ya ya I am okay now .... feeling a lot better .... Everybody calls me sweety why don’t you do the same....


Nirmal: Swetha sounds a lot better to me ... freeya vidu .... seri did u go to the doctor ???? 


Swetha: No no just took a paracetamol and that did the trick .... :) 


Nirmal: hmmm ... try avoiding self prescription it is not that good you know .... 


Swetha: atha vidu .... seri assignment panitiya ???


Nirmal: aiyo havent even thought about it ... what abt you ???? Let me know once u are done I will take a copy of it ... :) 


Swetha: Ada paavi ... seri tharen... aana konjam modify pannittu apram copy edu seriya ... illa adhuvum naanae unakku panni tharanuma ! ! ! ?


Nirmal: no no ... I will take care of that .... edhu kuda pannalana apram enna engineering sollu :) :) :) 


Swetha: Nasama po ... talk of the devil and there she is .... prabha saniyaen varudhu lets get in and sleep :) 


Nirmal : hmmmm .... ok ok .. lets go ...

This was one of their conversations and others were no different from this either during the 3 years of college life. They were a good acquaintance I should say and it stayed like that till the last day of the college. He never got the guts to ask her out nor had the luck to be her friend. He was always happy to see her from a distance and he enjoyed it being that way. If not for the little slam book none apart from his close friends would have ever known the feelings he had for her including she herself. He still wants to get to know her better like he always has done.

At present ....

Nirmal: Hey wish u a happy birthday…. Howz life??? Sorry I missed ur phone number… I lost my mobile last week….

Swetha: That’s ok… you generally wish me at 12 with an SMS right so was expecting the same this yr too….Thnx by the way …. I am good … howz you?

Nirmal: Not bad ….. Had a blast last night?

Swetha: Yeah it was great… My fiancé had come over to my home and we had a great time with all family members…… I am in a hurry now… catch u later ….

Nirmal: Oh great …. Have fun … see u …bye…

It is still the same even after 5 yrs of college life. Nirmal still relishes each and every little moment that he had spent with her though they are not many. His mind knows what he did and is doing is total crap. But then his heart still loves what he does and that is all it matters when it comes to ….. hmm….  ! ! ! 

Happy New Year 2011

It has been 5 years since I started blogging and somehow I have never blogged at the end of a year about what had the whole year in my life. This year has been an interesting one in my life though it is short of many instances worth mentioning. The best one is that I decided to take a new path in life when it came to professional life. I decided to give away the chance to travel abroad for a long term and instead decided to move away from the company I had worked for close to 5 years for some personal reasons. I got one of the best send off from my friends. It was really a memorable day that I had spent with all my friends in the company staying till 10’o clock on the last day. It was a moment to cherish. :)  

June 14^th marked the day of new beginning in our lives, we started off a school which has been my father’s long time dream. I couldn’t thank each and every person who had contributed to the cause of starting that school. The list goes long and not many are into the web world so I refrain from mentioning names here J we have only around 30+ students learning at present and I am sure we have a very long way to go before we can call that project to be a successful one. But for now I believe it is good start to the new path I had mentioned earlier in the blog. It is kind of nice to see the kids learning and feels good when you realize that you are in some way contributing to the growth of the society. It is completely a different satisfaction you get than what you get spending your hard earned money in one of the Top restaurants or Resorts or some multiplexes. The place is filled with clean and fresh air and I am just waiting for the day to go there and start leading a life at a pace few times slower than what I have right now. Well it has its own equal share of problems like generating fund for the project and trying to bring in students. I have been trying to sell the house which we have living for 25 years for this purpose without much luck. I hope I can do it ASAP in the New Year. :) 

I have been working (testing) on a flagship feature for my company and it has been a tough job for the past 9 months or so with all the dynamics around. The toughest part of all is handling the feature all by me with no one to get you out when you fall into trap. It has been a different working environment from my previous company not to mention that the domain is completely different from what I was working for the past 5 years. On the whole it has been a challenging environment to work and I have had a great experience doing it and have learnt quite a lot after joining the company. I have made very minimal friends here in the new company for some reason!!! I am still trying out to figure what that is ? It may be because, there aren’t many who is in the same boat as I am in any aspect of life :)  I hope I continue doing the best I can do here in the new company.

I entered a phase in my life where everyone is getting really busy with their lives including me and we friends hardly get time to meet each other. Still we have managed to go for few trips they were really a great time I have had this year. Most of my friends have either got engaged or have got married and it has become really difficult for them to find time for friends. One of my best friends had become a father this year and congrats to him on this achievement :)  Best of luck to all others who have entered wedlock or getting ready enter the same. The rest are in the process of finding a partner for them and I wish them good luck on finding a partner of their liking. I assume it is called wedlock for some reason. As far as I am concerned I am hoping to get into the same lock ASAP :) 

It is a New Decade in another few days and I wish you all have a prosperous life ahead. 

Wish you all a Happy New Year 2011........

Thalaivaa......

I guess we should restrict the usage of the word thalaivaa.....

kandakanda naayellam thalaivaa solranuga ! ! ! 

Hero Worship has been an integral part of this society for quite a long and at times it has even shaped up in a ridiculous way. It has scaled new heights in the past few months , thanks to the science fiction movie screened across the globe. The  movie was a very good attempt in Tamil Industry and the director has to be applauded for the attempt and the pains the entire team went through in making of the movie. I recently got a mail claiming that few tens of people had walked on their knees to the temple on top of a hill offering prayers for the success of the movie. Why would they even do this ????? Doubting the authenticity of the mail I tried searching few news articles only to surprised as it turned out to be true.... To be honest I was flabbergasted and felt pity on those brainless idiots.

It is completely a senseless act and I wonder if they will do the same for a friend of theirs even when they are in grave danger. I bet not many from those bunch will have an yes as an answer to this question. I still have no clue as to why someone would indulge themselves in such an act, just for an entertainer who is in no way related to them except for a little more than 2 hours every time they spend their money to watch him in silver screen. ! ! !  Many personify these entertainers to be leaders which they are not, instead of treating them as just entertainers who make them happy for just few hours.

At times this reaches some heights which many would regret in future. That would include pal abhishegam , archanai , aaraathi with sudam not for the person but for the poster. I feel really bad, for liters of milk go waste in the process. In a generation where these are questioned when performed for God himself by so many social activists what would these people get by wasting their time and money over someone. I am sure there are many better ways to show their love. There was another article by a fan pouring out his frustration on his so called leader for he was not able to see him on his birthday. He claimed to have travelled quite some distance just to convey his wishes but failed as he never got to meet the person. He went to the extent of questioning the attitude of the actor for not spending time with his fans on his Birthday. What he should understand is the actor is yet another  common man and he would want to spend time with his family on his Birthday.

Well even I do go for first day first show but that’s just for the entertainment and it does not mean that I adore him. All it means is that I just admire him and that’s the way we should be treating them. The only thing that comes as comfort is that the present generation is slowly but definitely moving away from Hero Worship. Gone are the days when people appreciated any crap if done by someone they love a lot. People appreciate good work these days without any biasing and that’s really a welcome sign. I hope this continues to grow and we can have an health films getting released instead of commercial entertainers. ... ! ! !