"I want to continue your friendship for rest of my life "
"I hope we remain friends forever ".. and so on these were few lines that I found in my Slam Book. People who wrote this are not in contact with any.They have their own set of friends from their work place and forget the ones from college.
Its normal dude, why do u want to make a fuzz of it now ?????
Of course it is normal and I am not making a fuzz of it. It is the hypocrites that I am bothered about.There was this one guy who cried like a girl in our farewell an created such a scene as if he is going to miss us more than anything but never bothered to keep in touch with any after college.It is so funny to see photos of that guy crying in farewell now... :) As for the others they are in touch somehow or at least make an attempt to be in touch with. I am really happy about it. After all, everyone has their own life to be taken care of and everyone has very little time for friends in this competitive world.Everyone has to accept this bitter fact. At the same time it does not mean that you don't have time for a call or mail or even a scrap. That sounds ridiculous to me.
What prompted me in writing this blog is many of my friends didn't turn-up to check on me after a surgery which I had recently in my spine. I was really dis-appointed. I am not blaming the ones in Chennai. Travelling 450 Kms just to check on me is not a great a trip to make ... :) She1 from " NEWFORT " who was very stubborn being friend with me didn't even care calling me. Another called saying that she would drop by but never did, but she did call me back again for some help.Bloody selfish :-/. Even after me reaching chennai only few close friends came home and many were busy with their business and didn't find an hour to meet me.One of my close friend who used to visit me often didn't even help me get some stuff and that was a great shock to me.Nevertheless I had to overcome it and did so with some pain.Now I DEAFA, I was like this a year back and was never caught in the emotional battle. But these 5 months of after surgery life has been tough. But it has only made me more stronger in mind than I was before :)
"That one thing which does not kill you can only make you stronger"
And now you know what we have LOST in this Modern, Competitive and Mechanical world.
So does this mean that none cared or loved or helped me in these 5 months ? Well I would be an idiot to say yes. It would be unfair not to write about them.Many have helped me to get over and I should really thank all for their help. Couple of my school friends would visit me daily with another friend of us and that was a great help as we laughed talking of the good old days....:) Another from Finland and few from US and Singapore would call me once in a while and that was soothing. Couple of other friends met me when I was in ICU and couple others met me after reaching Chennai.Of course my family members has been supportive throughout without whom I wouldn't have become normal as I am today. There were days when I was not able to walk also :(.... Many others from my office and college prayed for my good health and I am really overwhelmed by their love and care. Above all my sweetheart who has been with me all through this and will be with me throughout my life.
Love you all :)
I hope I run and ride bike and be normal as i was before in another one year..... :)
10 comments:
Touchy Topic!
Naga, honestly everyone goes through this!
In the end of the day, friends (as we call) have their own personal lives,one of my friends who wished on my bday for almost 2 decades missed my bday this year! I am not angered either! Someday people will forget us or may be they dont want us! Truth is even these ppl will not be wanted by their gang someday!
I am pasting a small part from my blog here. My friend told me this when he left to US,
"Nirmal,we have been good frinds over years. a day might come in our lives when we may not talk the way we did in school, a day may come when u may forget to wish on my bday or not having time to talk,our egos might be higher to come back.on that day never feel bad coz we have had 20 good years of friendship and carry the good memories forward and i honestly tell you we should never let that happen and it wont happen"
So many people have so many theories on Friendship, to me the Friendship that shares the most is the one that lasts longer than other forms.
@ Nirmal
I completely agree to what u have said and I think in similar lines.But that does not mean that they dont have time for a friend in trouble :)
Hum... You made me cry..It happens to most or say all of us..Everyone of us would have faced such ppl or situations once in our life.. or even more than once..So do I.. So have you.. Forget it..
The ones who really care, be with us whatsoever..
I could not help remembering the saying, " Never let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option for them"
Through such situations God gives us the opportunity to know the true colors of ppl..
Everything happens for good. :)
Take care :)
Its true, been there, felt the same, and after sometime it just becomes routine, everyone seem to be so selfish becas we never had anything else to think upon when we were sick. a hello once in a while from a frend would help, but its a luxury to ask, especially when you are in a long sick leave. :(
Senti topic..i hav lost touch with a couple of my closest buddies in school and I still miss them badly..[:(]..got reminded of them after seeing ur blog.Hope u run and ride ur bike and get back to normal soon [:)]..good luck!tc..
@ Nirmal,Archana.A & Mithra
I never intended this post to be touchy. But somehow all feel the same.
@ Archana Ashok
I am happy that my post brought you the good memories for your school friends :)
Hey Naga, good to hear you are doing fine!
Friends, they'll keep changing from birth until death. The closest gang will remain the same until death. It won't change. Those friends will be with you thru thick and thin, my friends have been, so far :)
Btw, learn to forgive those friends than getting angry on them. Have no ego cos someday, they might realize their mistake and will come back. Apart from your wife, children and parents, no one has any obligation to stay with you.
Btw, just a suggestion, look back at your life (now that you have time), just think and see if you had forgotten to stay in touch with any of your friends.
I know one guy who used to tell me about his friend, "Macha, that bugger doesn't mail, so I won't mail. He doesn't call, so I don't call, tit for tat. Head weight fellow". A few months later, the other fellow said the same.
At the end of the day, Ego separates people in a relationship (even friendship). You make sure, others don't point fingers at you for not keepin in touch.
Hope you recover soon! Will be glad to see you running and jumping with joy holding hands with your loved ONE ;)
All the best
PS : sorry for the long post. :D
@Agnel
I believe that friends are the ones who stay with us without any obligation... :)
And I have made all attempts to be in touch with all my friends.... I am sure people will have little complaint against me in that regard :)
And thnx for ur wishes man :)
Most awaiting topic to comment on !!
These days one best lesson I am learning from my so called "True friends" is to set my expectations to NULL, only then life will be peaceful.Jus saw in one of ur frenz comments that "To forgive friends and to let go of ego".. I hav one question for that friend, "how many times/years?".
Try ur best not to disappoint ur friend to whom u really mean! Just be urself inspite of all these disappointments and unwanted expectations..
"Everyone is good to us, until we expect nothing from them.. And we are good for them till we fulfill their expectations "
-Nita
@Nita,
Depends on how important they are to you! A close friend used to tell me, give people 3 chances max. I tend to give a bit more than that.
http://www.lifebeyondcode.com/2007/10/13/the-cookie-story-told-in-pictures/
Please read the link before reading ahead...
Always look at the other side of the coin :-)
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